When My Checked Bag Was Searched

I just returned from a business trip to Florida. The event I attended required multiple clothing changes, some product samples, a laptop computer, and some small metal stands to properly display the books I sell. Not exactly a complicated or unusual repertoire. The accumulated items required more than the usual small suitcase. I had to take a chance and a bring the dreaded "extra" bag.

As an experienced traveler, I do everything possible to avoid bringing more than one small suitcase on an airplane. I just couldn't help it on this trip. The one advantage of a checked bag is that one can put verboten items, such as shaving items, in the suitcase. For this business venture, I also had to bring a stapler (don't ask). Does this sound like wild and crazy stuff?

You might say "no," but then you have not encountered airport security in Orlando. For some reason, the feds scrutinize travelers leaving Orlando's airport with dark suspicion. Fair warning to anyone flying from Orlando: the security lines are far worse than those in major city airports, such as Chicago's O'Hare Airport or New York's LaGuardia Airport. The departing crowd, presumably giddy after days at Disney or Universal, has as much decorum as a family of escaped parakeets. In fairness, I did ask for and receive a professional and entirely acceptable pat down. No problem, even though the Jack Bauer-ish questioning was a little annoying.

It wasn't until I got home and unpacked my checked bag that I saw the note from the TSA. My bag had been searched. What on earth did they expect to find? A rogue Mickey? Purloined soap from my hotel room? A dangerous nail file? An embarrassing tee shirt? Massive amounts of a controlled substance?

I just don't get it. I'm a very unlikely candidate for anything that would arouse the attention of airport, or any, security. The episode was very off-putting. To make matters more distasteful, someone placed the wrong identity tag on my suitcase.

I understand the need for airport security. I can only hope TSA Orlando works harder to focus on someone other than a man with a clean record, an easily identifiable travel itinerary, and a cooperative personality.